Silenced by shame. The brothers couldn’t speak. Yosef had just revealed himself, climaxing a 22-year ordeal initiated by their jealousy and misplaced justice. His heartrending explanation immediately clarified and exposed the hidden Divine Hand that orchestrated two decades worth of distressing events.
Nevertheless, the brothers saw their role in the affair and were shamed into silence.
“And Yosef said to his brothers, ‘I am Yosef. Is my father still alive?’ But his brothers could not answer him because they were left disconcerted before him,” (Bereishis 45, 3).
“He then kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; afterwards his brothers conversed with him,” (Bereishis 45, 15).
In both verses, Rashi cites the Medrash Tanchuma, stating that the brothers were rendered silent due to their shame (בושה), and were able to finally respond only after Yosef cried on their shoulders, emotionally removing their humiliation through sincere comfort and acceptance.
Embarrassment is an extremely unpleasant state of being. It is an emotional reaction a person feels when highly regrettable and inappropriate choices are exposed for others to see, or to admit to himself.
However, strangely enough, shame is one of the three sterling characteristics used to identify the unique greatness of the Jewish People: “הרחמנים והביישנין וגומלי חסדים – Merciful, Shameful and Performers of Kindness,” (Yevamos 79a).
We can certainly understand that mercy and kindness are stellar traits to which to aspire – but shameful? What is so admirable about the ability to feel humiliation?
It’s nothing less than a crystal clear sign of kedusha.
Animals need no clothes, and openly tend to their everyday needs because they possess no perception of dignity, and therefore have no feeling of disgrace when they do something “beneath” their stature. They can’t lose something they don’t have.
The more society promotes behavior in mankind that endorses and idolizes base, animalistic and deviant conduct, the more man’s inherent holiness (made in the image of G-d) is stripped away. The further humanity distances itself from our Creator, the bar of dignity is lowered more and more, and therefore the requisite reactions of humiliation are fewer and farther between.
An intrinsic trait of a Jew is our unique spiritual distinction. When, G-d forbid, we engage in a behavior that is beneath our standards, our internal bells of indignity go off. We feel embarrassed, whether in front of others, or in front of HaShem. We have an ever-present, built-in mirror of truth that is reflecting our actions against our G-d given standards. It’s “pas nischt”.
For example, if we continually indulge our eating desires, we are ashamed of the outcome, either by the way we look and, or the way we feel. Perhaps we shy away from pictures, or maybe we avoid overeating in public, yearning for the moment when we are alone and can fress to our hearts content. However, each and every time we feel regret and remorse – regardless of how delicious it was at the time – our shame kicks in, signifying a behavior that compromised our kedusha instead of complimenting it.
Our goal is to use the fear of that internal indignity as a safeguard against engaging in that behavior in the first place. To hold ourselves up to our rightful place as ביישנין, ensuring - as much as we can - that our actions will be consistent with our priorities, not reflecting our impulsive cravings. For shame is truly the arbiter of truth. Good שבת.
Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMC is a Certified Nutrition, Wellness & Weight Management Consultant and Director of SOVEYA (Changing the Jewish World - One Pound at a Time). To contact Soveya: 443-501-3082, info@soveya.com or www.soveya.com
Silenced by shame. The brothers couldn’t speak. Yosef had just revealed himself, climaxing a 22-year ordeal initiated by their jealousy and misplaced justice. His heartrending explanation immediately clarified and exposed the hidden Divine Hand that orchestrated two decades worth of distressing events.
Nevertheless, the brothers saw their role in the affair and were shamed into silence.
“And Yosef said to his brothers, ‘I am Yosef. Is my father still alive?’ But his brothers could not answer him because they were left disconcerted before him,” (Bereishis 45, 3).
“He then kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; afterwards his brothers conversed with him,” (Bereishis 45, 15).
In both verses, Rashi cites the Medrash Tanchuma, stating that the brothers were rendered silent due to their shame (בושה), and were able to finally respond only after Yosef cried on their shoulders, emotionally removing their humiliation through sincere comfort and acceptance.
Embarrassment is an extremely unpleasant state of being. It is an emotional reaction a person feels when highly regrettable and inappropriate choices are exposed for others to see, or to admit to himself.
However, strangely enough, shame is one of the three sterling characteristics used to identify the unique greatness of the Jewish People: “הרחמנים והביישנין וגומלי חסדים – Merciful, Shameful and Performers of Kindness,” (Yevamos 79a).
We can certainly understand that mercy and kindness are stellar traits to which to aspire – but shameful? What is so admirable about the ability to feel humiliation?
It’s nothing less than a crystal clear sign of kedusha.
Animals need no clothes, and openly tend to their everyday needs because they possess no perception of dignity, and therefore have no feeling of disgrace when they do something “beneath” their stature. They can’t lose something they don’t have.
The more society promotes behavior in mankind that endorses and idolizes base, animalistic and deviant conduct, the more man’s inherent holiness (made in the image of G-d) is stripped away. The further humanity distances itself from our Creator, the bar of dignity is lowered more and more, and therefore the requisite reactions of humiliation are fewer and farther between.
An intrinsic trait of a Jew is our unique spiritual distinction. When, G-d forbid, we engage in a behavior that is beneath our standards, our internal bells of indignity go off. We feel embarrassed, whether in front of others, or in front of HaShem. We have an ever-present, built-in mirror of truth that is reflecting our actions against our G-d given standards. It’s “pas nischt”.
For example, if we continually indulge our eating desires, we are ashamed of the outcome, either by the way we look and, or the way we feel. Perhaps we shy away from pictures, or maybe we avoid overeating in public, yearning for the moment when we are alone and can fress to our hearts content. However, each and every time we feel regret and remorse – regardless of how delicious it was at the time – our shame kicks in, signifying a behavior that compromised our kedusha instead of complimenting it.
Our goal is to use the fear of that internal indignity as a safeguard against engaging in that behavior in the first place. To hold ourselves up to our rightful place as ביישנין, ensuring - as much as we can - that our actions will be consistent with our priorities, not reflecting our impulsive cravings. For shame is truly the arbiter of truth. Good שבת.
Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMC is a Certified Nutrition, Wellness & Weight Management Consultant and Director of SOVEYA (Changing the Jewish World - One Pound at a Time). To contact Soveya: 443-501-3082, info@soveya.com or www.soveya.com
