Three days after Avraham performed his own Bris Milah, the opportunity to do Hachnasas Archim (caring for guests) came knocking on his door. Despite being in pain and discomfort from his recent procedure, he literally ran to accommodate them. Additionally, when it came to their meal he went all out, slaughtering an entire cow for each guest and waiting attentively on their every need. It is interesting to note that Avraham was not the only person to run to take care of the guests. The pasuk attests that Yishmael ran to do so as as well (Rashi). Apparently Avraham's love for chessed even had a strong impression on someone like Yishmael. Lot too had clearly been influenced by Avraham's dedication to kindness. When guests (the Angels) visited Lot in Sedom, he risked his very life to welcome them into his home, all the while knowing that anyone in Sedom caught doing acts of kindness would be killed. He had learned this devotion to kindness from his time with Avraham Avinu. It seems that the Torah is teaching us that a person's values are instilled within the other members of their household.
This begs the following question: The Torah relates that despite Lot's willingness to sacrifice his life to perform an act of kindness, something that Avraham himself never had the opportunity to do, Lot's own family had no interest in emulating these values. They offered no help whatsoever in tending to the guests that seemed to need their help so desperately. In fact, when Sedom was being destroyed his wife desired to see their suffering so greatly that she couldn't resist watching them perish (even though doing so ultimately cost her her life).
How can this be? Why is it that Avraham's whole household, including Yishmael and Lot, were impacted so greatly by Avraham's value for chessed that it left a deep impression on them, while Lot's family remained callous to it despite his willingness to sacrifice everything for it? How do we explain this apparent contradiction?
The answer is that although Lot clearly valued chessed, before this incident, actual acts of kindness were never WITNESSED by his family (as opportunities to do chessed were virtually non-existent in Sedom). Perhaps Lot's family heard him speak about the importance of kindness, but they never actually saw him do it. Therefore, his value for chessed was never instilled within them; for one's family is far more likely to emulate what they see rather than what they are told. Avraham Avinu on the other hand did not merely talk about chessed - he LIVED it. Even a couple of days after his surgery, he RAN with alacrity and happiness to take care of his guests. The very same pasuk that states that Avraham ran mentions that Yishmael ran as well. Through this the Torah is revealing to us that the reason why Avraham's love for kindness was emulated by Yishmael was because he saw Avraham DEMONSTRATE his love for acts of kindness.
Living Inspired
Most of us have a clear understanding of what is right and wrong and what should be valued. This week's parshah is teaching us that although this understanding may succeed in influencing our own decisions, it may not be enough to motivate those around us. People, especially children, learn the most from what they WITNESS. Taking the time to ensure that our children and those around us SEE us do mitzvos with love and excitement will have a much stronger impact on their values than hours of being taught verbally about it's importance. Truth be told, acting on our values will increase its importance in our own eyes as well. Instead of simply working on what's most important to us intellectually through thought and study, let us all make an extra effort to constantly demonstrate them through practice at every opportunity.
