In this week’s Torah portion, the Torah (Shmos 38,21) refers to the Mishkan, the portable temple in the dessert, as Mishkan Haedus, the mishkan of testimony. Rashi (ibid) explains that the Mishkan was a perpetual testimony that Hashem forgave the Jewish people for the grave sin of the golden calf, because Hashem nonetheless allowed his presence to dwell among the Jewish people.
The Sefer Tomer Devorah (Chapter 1,3) writes that just as we see that Hashem forgives others, we have a mitzva to emulate that and forgive others for wrong they may have done to us.
How would you answer the following question that relates to the mitzva of forgiving others?
Ari was a high school student who entered a new high school in ninth grade. Ari did not find it easy to find new friends in the new school. Around a week into the new school year, as the entire class was sitting together in the dining room, Meir, a class bully, played a cruel prank on Ari. Meir held two cups of fruit punch in his hands. As he passed Ari, he pretended to slip and dropped the two cups of fruit punch on Ari’s back. When the class saw the surprised and horrified look on Ari’s face, the whole class roared with laughter. Ari was fully humiliated. Ari never forgave Meir for what he had done.
Meir and Ari grew up and matured into thoughtful adults. One day Meir, the former bully, remembered what he had done to Ari in front of the whole class, and sincerely wanted to make amends for his cruel prank. Meir located Ari’s number and called him up. “Ari do you remember when I poured that punch on you in high school, I feel terrible for that cruel joke. I feel terrible about what I have done and I sincerely want to ask your forgiveness. Ari replied “Meir I am very grateful that you called. I will be honest with you. Your cruel trick deeply impacted me. There has hardly been a day since that happened that I do not re-live the pain you caused me. You should know that your torment really affected the entire trajectory of my high school experience. I will be totally honest with you. I can say the words “I forgive you”, but I doubt it will be sincere. I won’t be able to truly forgive you”. Meir replied in alarm, “Well, what can I do to make amends”? Ari answered, “I’m not positive, but perhaps if you would bring together the whole class, and in front of the whole class that watched and laughed, explain how you regret what you have done, I might be able to sincerely forgive you”.
Meir thought about it. The airfare to bring together the whole class from all across the world could cost nearly $15,000. Meir knew that he was obligated to seek forgiveness, but was he obligated to spend so much money to bring them all together to get forgiveness? Could a simple apology suffice? Was Ari being unduly unreasonable?
What do you think? Does Meir have to spend so much money and go to such lengths to gain forgiveness?
Answer for last week’s moral dilemma
According to Rav Shimon Sofer, (grandchild of the Chasam Sofer) Shmuel would be allowed to return the money on shabbos, by holding it in an unusual way. He should not wait until after shabbos to return the money because he may change his mind and not return his theft. See Chashukei Chemed Pesachim page 82
