The Mitzva of Hesped

It is a mitzva to eulogize the deceased, to contemplate his or her life as a whole, seeing all of the goodness and truth within him or her. This mitzva is a specific application of the mitzva to dignify man, who was created in the image of God. In life, we all neglect to see the overall good in people and praise them accordingly; pressing concerns force us to deal with details. So when eulogizing an upstanding person, it is a mitzva to return to the basics and to mention all the truth and goodness within the deceased.

It is also a mitzva for all the deceased’s acquaintances and friends to reawaken themselves and repent, as Scripture states: "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for that is the end of every man, and the living shall should take it to heart" (Ecclesiastes, 7:2). And if, God forbid, people are not awakened to repent, it is cause for concern. Thus, the Sages say: "When one of a group dies, the whole group should be concerned" (Shabbat 106a).

Certainly, then, when a member of our group, the settlers, is sacrificed in the sanctification of God’s name and recalled to the heavenly academy, we must make a special effort to eulogize them and bind their private lives with the sanctity of the collective.

On The Sanctification of God’s Name

A martyr, someone murdered while sanctifying God’s name, because he or she was a Jew, occupies such an exalted position in the next world that no man can stand within his partition (see, Pesachim 50a). To the human eye, it seems that the lives of the murdered were diminished and cut short, but in actuality, in the eternal world, they are more alive than everyone else. They are kedoshim, holy, and "kadosh le'olam kayam" (the holy endures forever) (Sanhedrin 92a). All the more so when it comes to a woman who devoted so much of her life to settling Eretz Yisrael, and who, in the face of the claims of our enemies who oppose our right to make the wastelands of the Judean Hills bloom, built her home in Otniel. In the face of murderers who seek to annihilate us, threatening our lives within our beleaguered communities and on the roads stained with Jewish blood, she continued her blessed daily routine, raising a family and travelling to work at the hospital, and displaying the strength to lovingly care for her household while being kindhearted and compassionate to every individual she encountered in her job. She did all this despite a profound awareness of the security risks involved and of life’s travails.

Even as we shed tears over her memory, we must stand tall and make ourselves worthy of the great and awesome role we have undertaken: to fulfill the mitzva of yishuv ha'aretz (settling Eretz Yisrael), a mitzva equivalent to all other mitzvot; to enlarge and expand our communities to the extent possible; to fulfill, through our lives and actions, the words of the prophets; to reinforce civilized social life within our communities, intensifying Torah study on Shabbat and weekdays for men and women, adults and children, and increasing acts of kindness within these communities, and toward all human beings.

As someone worthy of being a korban tzibur (communal offering), Dafna Meir, may God avenge her blood, merited to have all of Israel hear about her deeds and shed tears in her memory. Thousands of pioneering settlers attended her funeral; distinguished rabbis and ministers spoke in her memory; and her body was carried on its final journey to eternal rest by rabbis, ministers, members of Knesset, and friends.

Testimony in Her Memory

My brother, Rabbi Yisrael Melamed, lives next-door to the Meir family. Based on what he told me, I have written some words in her memory.

Dafna was a member of the local board and often inspired the community to deal with safety and security flaws on the roads. Alongside the firm criticism that she asserted fearlessly, she made sure to finish each letter with a smile, an “emoji” of a large, beating heart, as a sign of friendship and love.

Dafna was an extremely professional nurse, and was happy to assist all who turned to her for help, free of charge. When injured children arrived at the hospital, she would deftly and skillfully stitch their wounds.

Dafna was an expert in the fields of female infertility and the treatment of difficulties in pregnancy. She had a method of contraception when required, and even contended with doctors and rabbis without fear or prejudice, personally fulfilling the command "fear no one." She believed that it was forbidden to spare the truth from enquirers.

Dafna worked as a nurse in the Department of Neurosurgery at the Soroka Medical Center. In order to take better care of immigrants from the Soviet Union she studied Russian. Recently, she had begun studying Arabic in order to take better care of Arabs patients. Dr. Ahmed Nasser, who specializes in the department where she worked, mourned her death. He noted that it was a great privilege to have been acquainted with her, and that she even served as a mother figure for him.

Before marrying, she and her husband agreed that no matter how many children they beget, they would make an effort to adopt more children. They merited to realize that dream astonishingly well.

In her personal life, Dafna experienced a great deal of suffering. She was raised in institutions and later by an adoptive family, and was able to successfully transform her difficulties and suffering into powers of creativity and chesed, lovingkindness.

'Tree, Oh Tree, How Can I Bless You'?

Come see the difference between the Jewish nation and our enemies! Their martyrs are despicable murderers, destroyers and demolishers of the world; our martyrs—a compassionate nurse, kindhearted, engaged in the settlement of Eretz Yisrael, and tikun olam (repairing the world)!

As we approach Tu Bi-Shvat, the New Year of Trees, it is fitting to bless her precious children that they follow in her path and be like her—their fruit should be as sweet, their shade as pleasant. May they remain firmly rooted upon the banks of rivers—the Torah and mitzvot—adding blessing to the world.