Billy decides to go buy a new dog. He goes to the neighborhood pet store and asks for the brightest dog they have. The store owner lets out a short whistle and a dog running in to the room, tail wagging furiously, mouth open in classic Lab-smile position, eyes bright with anticipation.

The store owner tells Billy to instruct the dog to do whatever he wants. So Billy pulls a ball out of his pocket and says, “Fetch!”

Immediately, the dog sits down, the tail wagging stops, the doggie-smile disappears; he hangs his head and says in a whiny voice, "Oy! My tail hurts from wagging so much. And that dog food you're feeding me tastes absolutely terrible. And it's so hot in here. And you're not giving me any treats. And I can't remember the last time you took me out for a walk...."

Billy's jaw drops.

"Ah," the dog owner explains, "I forgot to tell you, he's a little hard of hearing. He thought you said 'kvetch!'"

This Shabbat is called Shabbat Shira, literally the Shabbat of song, because of the song the Jewish people sang after crossing the Reed Sea. Personally, I would call this week Shabbat Kvetch. From the beginning of this week’s Torah Portion all the way to its end the Jewish People complain about everything. First, after finally receiving their freedom from the Egyptians, they realize that the Egyptians are chasing them. What do they do? They kvetch! “Moshe, why did you take us out of Egypt?” Like complaining to Moshe is going to help with anything! Then after the Egyptians drown in the sea, they come to a place where all they find is water that is bitter. They turn to Moses and say, mah nishteh? What will we drink? A few days later, they run out of food. Which I find interesting, 600,000 Jewish mothers and they ran out of food! Anyway, they complain about the food shortage until G-d rains manna from Heaven. Next, a few days later, they come to a place called Rephidim, where they run out of water, complain to Moses, until he miraculously draws water from a rock. Yes, somewhere in between there is a beautiful song, but don’t you agree? The main theme of this week is kvetching!

So since complaining is a part of our psyche; from the times of the Exodus, through Jackie Mason, Jerry Seinfeld, and still going strong today, I would like to dedicate today’s sermon to kvetching. This week’s Torah portion is a gold mine of insights about complaining and kvetching so I will share with you three practical lessons about complaining.

The first observation is that kvetching can’t be all that bad. As I mentioned, the Jewish People complain numerous times in this week’s Torah portion, and yet only on the last time does Moshe tell them that they’ve gone overboard. It would seem like kvetching is not all that bad. Actually, according to some researchers, kvetching can be good. They explain that recognizing that there is a problem is the first step to changing it. To act, we have to first acknowledge that there is a problem. Pointing out the problems of our society, neighborhood, the world etc. is the first step to solving the problem. I hear people complaining, criticizing all the time, whether it’s about shul, what goes on in home, or as far away as in Israel. And the complainers are right! There are problems - but use those complaints constructively. Use them as a catalyst to change what’s wrong. People are constantly complaining about the nuclear threat of Iran. Do something about it! Write letters to congress! Come with me to the AIPAC conference and show the American government that its constituents care deeply and support the Land of Israel. But don’t just complain.

So that’s Kvetch lesson #1 – Kvetching is not evil. However, the point of kvetching is to do something about it! We need to learn how to master the ‘constructive kvetch.’

Lesson #2 is taught to us by Moses, and it really is a continuation of the last lesson. As I mentioned, the Jewish People complained time and time again but it was only the last time that Moses told them off for complaining. Now it’s not that Moshe just ‘had it’ and couldn’t handle the incessant complaining. The commentators make a wonderful observation and explain what made this last complaint different than all the rest. The truth is, explain the commentators, that all the complaints that the Jews had in this week’s Torah portion were legitimate. They were being chased by the Egyptians, their life was in danger! They had no food! They had no water! These are all serious problems. This isn’t like I came two hours late to shul and someone is sitting in my seat type of problem. This is real! And they had every right to complain to Moshe. The problem with their final complaint was not the content, it’s how they said it. They demanded water with anger, with resentment and with entitlement. That is unacceptable.

Complaining, like I mentioned a moment ago can be constructive, it is the catalyst to change. There are always changes that can be made; we live in an imperfect world. So whether it’s in our homes, in the schools we send our children, or in the shul, criticism is necessary to move forward. Moshe admonishes the Jewish People, not for complaining, but the manner in which they did so; the tone of voice, the language used, the finger wagging. And that is the second lesson of complaining; kvetch like a mench! It’s okay to criticize and it’s okay to complain, just do it appropriately. Kvetch like a mench.

And the third lesson of kvetching that we learn from this week’s Parsha, and in my opinion the most profound lesson, is the following. The Torah writes that when the Jewish People came to their first stop they couldn’t drink the water “ki marim heim” which literally means, they, in the plural, were bitter. The simple explanation means that the water was bitter. However, there is a homiletic interpretation made famous by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. He used to share a story of a man who wanted to buy perfume for his wife. He walks into a perfume store and asks the woman behind the counter if she could suggest a good perfume. She says sure and picks up a sniff card and sprays some perfume from a bottle of perfume. The man takes a whiff of the card, makes a terrible face, and says “Let’s try something else.” So she grabs another bottle, sprays a little onto a sniff card and hands it to the man. Again, he takes a little smell, makes a face, and says. “Listen, these perfumes stink! I need to buy my wife a really nice gift. Can you please find me a really good bottle of perfume.” So she politely smiles and rummages under the counter and pulls out a beautiful looking bottle of perfume. She gives a little spray, hands it to the man. The man makes another terrible face, but before he says anything, she interrupts him and says, “Sir, with all due respect. When was the last time you showered?”

You know why the Jewish People thought the water was bitter? Ki marim heim, because they - the Jews were bitter! Not the water. The water was sweet. The Jewish People were bitter and that’s why they couldn’t appreciate the sweet tasting water.

That is the third, and most important lesson of kvetching, you are what you kvetch. Or as one psychologist put it, sometimes we think we are looking out a window, but really we are looking at a mirror.

If a person finds themselves complaining about this and about that, it may be worth looking inside. Unfortunately, there are people who are always complaining and always seeing things negatively. And even if we aren’t that negative, do you ever go through a day and wonder why it is that on that particular day, your children are being extra annoying, your boss is being especially mean, and your spouse is nagging you to no end? You know what I’m talking about? Well what we learn from this week’s Torah portion is that it just may be you and not them. Look inside and find out what’s bothering you; why are you so bitter.

So yes, it’s true, as Jews we like to kvetch, but let’s kvetch right. Let’s kvetch constructively - with a cause; trying to use our kvetching as a catalyst for change. Let’s kvetch because it’s important, but let’s do so without anger, resentment, and entitlement, let’s learn how to kvetch like a mench. And last but not least, let’s remember that we are what we kvetch; that when we the world around us seems to smell really bad, let’s make sure that it’s not us who are the source of that smell.