A distinguished yeshiva student had the great honor of driving R’ Moshe Feinstein, one of the greatest Torah giants of his generation, to yeshiva each day. The young man took great inspiration from the fact that R’ Moshe Feinstein was incredibly meticulous in making sure that he arrived to seder on time, often arriving at the car at least a few minutes earlier than necessary. Indeed, nothing was more important to R’ Moshe than his learning. One day, the driver waited for R’ Moshe Feinstein, but he never arrived. Five minutes, then ten, and finally fifteen minutes passed by, and still, R’ Moshe did not show up. The young man was alarmed and decided to check on R’ Moshe. He went up to R’ Moshe’s apartment and was surprised to hear crying on the other side of the door. Knowing that he probably shouldn’t, he couldn’t help but open the door a crack to see what was happening on the inside. His eyes caught a glimpse of R’ Moshe, holding the hand of an elderly man. The two men sat together crying quietly, and R’ Moshe had tears running down his face, literally drenching his beard. The driver quietly closed the door, and went to his car to wait for the great Torah sage. Clearly, the young man surmised, the elderly man was a renowned sage who had reported a world tragedy. What else could possibly explain R’ Moshe’s tears and his delay to yeshiva? The young man realized that it was his duty to wait in the car for however long was necessary.

After a few more minutes went by, R’ Moshe finally arrived at the car, his eyes still red from crying. The yeshiva student asked gently “Rebee, is everything okay? What happened? Who was that man that you were with?”. R’ Moshe’s reply shocked him. “I actually don’t really know who that man was. He knocked on my door, and when I answered, he broke down crying and told me that his wife of over 50 years had passed away. Nothing I said could calm him down. Seeing this man in so much pain, I couldn’t help but cry with him. He was too overwhelmed to talk, so we just cried together. After a half hour, the man seemed to feel better, thanked me, and excused himself out the door. As for his name - like I said, I simply don’t know”.

Even though R’ Moshe was a great Torah sage who held his learning in the utmost esteem, he would never allow his Torah learning to be at the expense of treading on the feelings of another Jew - even a total stranger. For the Torah, and Judaism in general, is intended as a vital tool to make us better, more refined and more caring people. The Maharal (in Gur Aryeh, based on the Gemara in Arachin 16b) explains that Avraham Avinu’s actions clearly demonstrated this mentality as well. Avraham was a very respected and well-known personality. This caused him to make the following calculation: "if I stay at a different inn on my return journey, the original innkeepers will probably notice. If they do, they may become offended and conclude that I did so because I did not enjoy my stay with them". In order to avoid causing them this pain, Avraham Avinu specifically returned to each and every one of the inns that he had lodged in on his original journey.  

Living Inspired

R' Shmuel Silber points out a life lesson from this that is relevant to each and every one of us. Let us remember that this is Avraham Avinu we're talking about. He was a very busy man with a plethora of critical tasks on his proverbial "to-do list". For one thing, Avraham was the only person in the world who was educating the masses of Hashem's existence. Every minute he wasted meant another person wouldn't be brought to Judaism and would be lost. Each moment of his time was precious. Additionally, G-d Himself had commanded Avraham to go to Eretz Canaan, thus adding urgency to reaching his destination as soon as possible. In short, Avraham Avinu was arguably the busiest and most important man, with the most important mission, on the planet! He easily could have adopted the mentality that "I can't care if some innkeepers might be a little offended by my actions. My task is far too great to worry about every little person's feelings".

Instead, Avraham Avinu went out of his way to show tremendous thought and sensitivity to the feelings of even the simple roadside innkeepers (who were strangers). By doing so, Avraham was teaching us the following life lesson: Judaism, with a disregard for the feelings of others, is not true Judaism*! Similarly, any accomplishment, at the expense of others, is not an accomplishment **.

Over the course of a busy day, it is so easy for us to forget about the feelings and needs of others. This becomes compounded when we are engrossed in a particularly important task. We often tend to rationalize that the ends (accomplishing this vital task) justify the means (of overlooking others). Let us learn from Avraham Avinu's shining example that the FIRST priority of every Jew is to always be sensitive to the feelings of others. May we all make an extra effort today to be sensitive to the feelings of even the "simple innkeepers" in our lives.

Gut Shabbos

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*- This does not mean, G-d forbid, that one should forego the mitzvos in situations where they do not sit well with others. Rather, one should always try to the best of his ability to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, within the framework of Torah.

**-  “If the spirit of one’s fellows is pleased with him, the spirit of Hashem is pleased with him; but if the spirit of one’s fellows is not pleased with him, Hashem is not pleased with him” (Avos 3:13).