Like so many other successful ideas, the Bar Mitzvah Fund, a charitable organization that raises money to mark thirteen year old boys’ coming of age with appropriately memorable celebrations, began with nothing more than a simple conversation between two people. What was a little unorthodox (if you’ll pardon the pun) about the Bar Mitzvah Fund is that the idea came from a grade schooler.
Avi Faivish, a Five Towns resident, was in the eighth grade and had recently celebrated his own Bar Mitzvah when the idea for the fund first began to grow in his head approximately two years ago. He had been discussing what to do with the maaser money from his own bar mitzvah when the conversation with his father, Dovi Faivish, took a turn in a different direction.
“Avi noticed that there were boys in his class whose parents couldn’t afford to make them a bar mitzvah,” said Dovi Faivish. “One day they were 12 and the next day they were 13 and that was it. Avi asked me if maybe we could start some kind of fund to help them out.”
Inspired by his son’s thoughtfulness, Dovi Faivish contacted Avi’s then-rosh yeshiva, Rabbi Yaakov Bender of Yeshiva Darchei Torah. Not only was Rabbi Bender on board with the plan, he suggested taking it to all of the elementary schools in the area, all of whom were interested in putting Avi’s idea into play. The Faivishes set up a 501C3 and using Avi’s maaser money and contributions of their own, the Bar Mitzvah Fund was officially born, sponsoring its first affair in March 2014. While the parents of the bar mitzvah boy knew that the Bar Mitzvah Fund had contributed to their simcha, the guest of honor had absolutely no idea.
“I walked in just for a minute to see what it looked like but I didn’t want anyone to see me,” said Avi. “It was surreal and pretty amazing.”
Word began to spread about Avi’s fundraising efforts after that initial simcha.
“We were at a bar mitzvah and I told one person about it and he pulled me and Avi over and another four or five guys and he said to them, ‘You see what this kid is doing? I’m sponsoring a bar mitzvah, are you?’” recalled Dovi Faivish. “We had four or five people right there just asking who to make the checks out to.”
Avi, the oldest of four children and now a tenth grader in Mesivta Ateres Yaakov in Lawrence, said that his biggest concern was that as a 13 year old, no one would take his fundraising efforts seriously. In reality, his age actually proved to be a point in his favor.
“People were shocked that a kid could do something like this,” said Avi. “I was nervous about it but it paid off. People understand that I am a teenager and they are super impressed.”
Typically the Bar Mitzvah Fund contributes approximately $2,000 for a simcha, supplementing whatever funds parents have available for the occasion. The maximum donation of $4,000 to $4,500 is given in extremely difficult situations, depending on whether or not money is needed to buy tefillin for the bar mitzvah boy.
“That amount will usually cover food for 100 people, a photographer, and either a DJ or a one man band,” said Dovi Faivish.
Word of mouth brought the Bar Mitzvah Fund to other neighborhoods with the father sons teams of Yoel and Chaim Zagelbaum and Levi and Zecharia Eichenstein taking charge of the Brooklyn area. Purim 2015 had two groups of boys collecting in the Five Towns and Brooklyn for the Bar Mitzvah fund, raising approximately $20,000. Faivish estimated that this year there were seven groups of boys collecting for the fund on Purim in the Five Towns, Brooklyn and Great Neck, raising approximately $40,000.
“It was pretty historic,” observed Faivish. “We had one group from HAFTR in the Five Towns, the first time ever since the school started that they had kids going around collecting on Purim.”
Bar mitzvah boys have joined Avi in his effort, pledging their support in a variety of ways. The diversity among those young men is a fringe benefit of the project.
“It shows that it doesn’t matter who you are and where you go to school,” said Faivish. “We are one.”
That theme of unity was echoed at the WeR1 pre-Purim Hakhel concert held at Brooklyn College. Faivish estimated that over 2,000 people came to the concert which generated awareness for the Bar Mitzvah Fund and starred Gad Elbaz, Chasidic rapper Nissim Black and superstar Lipa Schmeltzer. A video titled Bar Mitzvah Time, featuring both Schmeltzer and Black was released in conjunction with the concert and has been viewed more than 54,000 times on YouTube, creating even more buzz for the Bar Mitzvah Fund. Other events to raise both money and awareness have included a Super Bowl party, which drew over 100 boys from all walks of life, and a post-Pesach mock bar mitzvah/siyum that was open to seventh and eighth graders from all six yeshivas located in the Five Towns.
“The point was to show all the boys that a bar mitzvah is a huge event in their lives and that everyone is entitled to feel special,” said Faivish. “It was also important to inspire the kids and let them know that there is nothing that they can’t do.”
Faivish said that there has been interest in opening up divisions of the Bar Mitzvah Fund in both Toronto and in Israel and he hopes to generate interest at the corporate level as well.
“No matter what or where we are, we are all Jewish and one nation,” said Faivish. “Every boy should know about this. We hope to get major companies to partner with us and reward the kids who are becoming leaders at this young age. The sky is the limit.”
To date, the Bar Mitzvah Fund has made over 100 bar mitzvahs. Faivish said that he and his wife Tzipi are both inordinately proud of their son whose efforts have far surpassed even their wildest expectations. Avi admits to being overwhelmed by the response they have received so far.
“I wanted this to be something big but I never expected anything like this,” admitted Avi.
To find out more about the Bar Mitzvah Fund, visit them online at www.thebarmitzvahfund.org.
Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who writes for numerous websites, newspapers, magazines and many private clients. She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail.com.
