The Jews received the Torah in Parshas Yisro thus fulfilling the goal of kabalas HaTorah which was the completion of Yitziyas Mitzrayim, being free (Ramban). The first parsha that follows that is our present parsha which begins with the laws of ki sikneh eved Ivri, if you buy a Jewish slave. Ramban and many rishonim are bothered why is this the first law that the Torah discusses right after Har Sinai?

Ramban says that even though it seems to be very mundane, it’s explaining a very interesting point. If a person acquires an eved Ivri, the law is that when he sends him out he must give him gifts. The pasuk says later on, “Vezacharta ki eved hayisa b’eretz Mitzrayim.”  You should remember that you were a slave in Egypt, v’yifdicha Hashem Elokecha, and G-d redeemed you, and, therefore, that’s why I’m commanding you to do ha’anaka, to give these gifts to the slave that’s going out.  According to Ramban that’s why the Torah starts off with this parsha of buying an eved Ivri, and all the rules that have to do with it because it evokes Yitziyas Mitzrayim which they just experienced.

Teachable Moments

There are two lessons in this Ramban, I believe. One of them is that in life, we need to take advantage of teachable moments. The Jews just left Egypt.  They’re feeling free.  They’re at the ultimate climax of freedom because they have the Torah now; they’re totally free.  Cheirus m’yetzer harah. Charus al halachos. They’re subjugated to Hashem, and so we take advantage of that opportunity to teach them: You know how you feel when you left.  Look, Hashem says: I gave you gifts.  I gave you everything.  You know what it feels like to be a slave. So, make sure to treat your slave well, and make sure you give him gifts, just like I made sure that when you left Egypt you also had gifts.  

Empathize

The second lesson is that we should train ourselves to learn from these moments that whenever something is going on in our life we should look and see: how do I feel? That should carry us forward and teach us how to look at other people as well.

2) Care For Others

It says that the Jewish slave becomes, sort-of, a property of the master (Shemos 21:3).  It’s interesting because, says Ramban, Chazal tell us that the master who bought this Jewish slave has to feed his wife and children, why? This doesn’t seem like a very fair deal for the purchaser? Ramban explains: If you bought this man, then you took on all of his responsibilities, and since you are able to ask him to work for you at all times, he’s not able to serve and take care of his own family.  So, therefore, that now becomes your responsibility.  Ramban says, you become like the surrogate father of the children and husband of the wife. Therefore, what they produce, their ma’aseh yadayim, which in halacha the husband gets, in this case the master gets it. It’s a two way street: that you’re responsible for them, but also you get to take their ma’aseh yadeha that they produce. The lesson here is that if you have someone that’s working for you, you’re responsible to take care of them, especially if they’re an eved Ivri, and they’re working for you full time. Indeed, Chazal say one who buys a slave has really acquired a master for himself.

3) Va’avado L’olam – Until Yovel or Death?

We’ve talked about how the Ramban looks at the Ibn Ezra, but also criticizes him sometimes. Here is an example (Shemos 21:6). If the Jewish slave wants to stay with his master saying ‘I love my master,  I love my wife,  I love my children;  I don’t want to leave’ the halacha is that he gets his ear pierced, and “va’avado l’olam”.  He should be a slave forever which Rashi and the Ramban all bring down from Chazal, it means until Yovel.  Ibn Ezra here writes that al pi p’shat it means forever.  Literally, until he dies he’s a slave. Ramban criticizes him and says that Rav Avraham, the Ibn Ezra, forgot that which he was intelligent about in a different place where he actually quotes this Chazal.  There’s a place in Parshas Behar (Vayikrah 25:41) that Ibn Ezra quotes this Chazal himself that it means until Yovel.  

What’s the p’shat? Ramban himself in many places says a variant explanation different than Chazal. He accepts Chazal as the ultimate authority and halacha, however, the rishonim understand the precept of “ain mikrah yotzei midei peshuto, as permission to learn the liternal lesson that the simple meaning of the verse is conveying. He always defers to Chazal at the end of the day, but he learns a lesson.  So, the criticism of the Ibn Ezra here is not that strong,, because Ibn Ezra is modeh in Parshas Behar that it means what Chazal say.

Eved Wants to be Hefker

What’s the p’shat though? Why would one understand that this man should remain a slave forever?  This man wanted to stay a slave.  He doesn’t appreciate his freedom. So mentally, he is a slave forever. He’s stuck in a place that the Gemara (Kesuvos 11a) calls “avdah niche lei b’hefkeira”. The eved loves to be hefker; he loves to be a slave.  He doesn’t like to have responsibilities. He doesn’t want to be an eved to Hashem.  He wants to be an eved to another eved of Hashem.

The depth of Yovel, which teaches us to be diminish all of our desire for Olam Hazeh, that is the lesson he must learn. Ibn Ezra and Ramban and Chazal are all true. A person who is niche lei b’hefkeira, he wants to be a slave, has a problem. He’s probably going to be stuck in that forever, but, hopefully, the Yovel could free him that understanding of bitul hayeish. Rav Dessler has a great shtickel on the difference between shmitah and Yovel.  It’s not for now, but one is bitul hayeish, one is bitul ha’anochius, etc. That’s subjugation that Yovel brings.  

4) Cursing Parents

Ramban (Shemos 21:15) has two fascinating points that bring out the rules of mitzvos. Why is it that if someone curses his parents he gets a much stricter punishment than someone who hits them? He explains two p’shatim.  One of them is that when someone curses their parent, they use Shem Hashem. So, that’s a lot more strict than hitting which does not evoke Hashem’s name.

More Common

The second pshat evokes a rule which is that a person is around his parents, and it’s very easy for him to get angry at them, and he’s around them all day, and it’s a very common thing for kids to curse their parents and be angry at them. Therefore, because of the frequency of the sin, the Torah punishes it more harshly to try to deter it.That’s a rule of all mitzvos of the Torah, all punishments are meant to deter the sin. Thus, the more frequent it is the stronger the punishment needed in order to get the person back on track.

Child Acting Out

The second p’shat he brings down, is that the chronological flow of the Torah is very strange because first it says that one is is prohibited to hit his parents, and later it says that one is prohibited to curse his parents, but right in the middle of this is something that would seem to be an interruption: If you kidnap someone, you’re put to death with stoning. Why the interruption between hitting and cursing?

Rav Saadya Gaon (882 - 942), quoted by Ramban, explains the reason that it puts this in between is because most kidnapped people are children, and what’s going to end happening is that if you kidnap a child they’re going to be distant from their parents and never develop a closeness with their parents, and when they are finally reunited with their family, they may actually hit and curse their parents. To a certain extent the kidnapper will be held liable for this. That’s why the kidnapper gets stoning, because his action causes cursing. A fascinating comment indeed.

Figure Out Cause

Rav Saadya Gaon is explaining that a child hitting or cursing his parents is often the result of a traumatic experience which prompts a child to act out. We should always be aware if a child is acting out it’s because of distress and pain they’re in, and we should try to lean in and understand what’s bothering them. We have to educate them as well about what’s appropriate and what’s not, but we should always lean in and try to figure out what’s really going on.

Creating Bond of Closeness

Rav Shimon Schwab has a very fascinating p’shat here. He says that those parents that relate to their children with distance and judgment as if their children aren’t really children and the children don’t feel the love, and they feel like they’re kidnapped, that they don’t’ have anything to do with their parents, that’s where the child is going to end up cursing them.  A person should not put distance between himself and his child.  He should always try to lean in and get close to his child, and that’s what causes the makah and the kilul from happening.  This was Rav Schwab’s famous speech at the 1999 Agudah convention.

Warmth

Rav Schwab added that we must know what it means to be a parent. It says “Vayisimeinu l’av b’Paraoh, Yosef described that he’s coming down to Egypt that he became an av, a father, to Pharaoh. What does that mean?  Rashi says that I became a patron, close confident of his, and a friend. That is what a parent is, someone who promotes the child’s best interests and is a close friend. Of course, there’s a balance, but we should try to be a friend of our child, to develop a warm, loving relationship with them.

5) Strict Against the Witch

The famous three word pasuk (Shemos 22:17) says, “michasheifah lo sichayeh” you are not allowed to let a witch live. Ramban says this is a very strange expression.  It should just say: the witch should be put to death, should be killed. Why does it insead say: ‘Don’t let her live’?  He shares a rule here that the Torah is being very strict.  The Torah is saying: Don’t even think about letting her live.  She needs to be killed.  Why? Because she’s a choitei u’machti. Usually the magic produced is done for the sake of others. The Torah is always very strict when we cause others to sin.

Chazal say: Gadol hamachtio yoseir meihahorgo.  It’s worse to to cause someone to do an aveirah than it is to kill them because killing them, at least they have a spiritual life and they have olam habah, but causing them to do aveiros, you cause them to lose out on opportunity in this world. The Torah is extra strict when it comes to people who negatively influence other people.  Regarding the mechasheifah, it says, “lo sichayeh”; it doesn’t just say “mos tamus”. “Lo techayeh”, there’s an aggression there, et rid of this terrible influence that’s hurting other people. Ramban points out that we find the exact same thing in other mitzvos as well. For example, you find that those that create more damage, like a meisis, one who seduces others to do avodah zarah, it says: lo sachmol, lo sichaseh lo. Don’t have mercy on him. About the rotzeiach, it says: Don’t take a redemption for him.  “lo sikchu kofer” because he’s a rasha, he hurt someone else. That’s not tolerable to the Torah.

6) Hashem Only Source of Good

The whole purpose of all of Mishpatim is (Shemos 23:25), “avaditem es Hashem elokeichem”, you should serve Hashem, “u’beirach es lachmo”, and Hashem will bless your bread and give you sustenance, and says the Ramban, such beautiful words: v’al kein yomar hakasuv hazeh, the Torah tells us “ki b’avodas haKadosh Baruch hu bilvad”, only one who serves Hashem “tihiyeh lahem hahatzlachah v’hashimirah”  You’re the one who will have success and be protected.

The Torah is combatting those that serve avodah zarah.  Why do they serve avodah zarah, says the Ramban.  Because they believe that this idol can give them something. They believe that they could get something under the desk, behind the counter from this other force. No, says the Torah, the only source for anything, any happiness and success in this world, comes only from Hashem. This is the summary and the most beautiful lesson that we learn from Mishpatim, all the rules that we follow for life.

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Rabbi Yosef Tropper is a rav and psychotherapist. Learn more and subscribe at ParshaThemes.com