לעילוי נשמת ידיד נפשי עוז ר' שלום יוסף בן הרב צבי ע"ה

A king must write a Torah that will always be with him.

והיתה עמו — It shall be with him, וקרא בו — and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear Hashem, his G-d, to observe all the words of this Torah…  (דברים יז יט)  

והיתה עמו — It [the Torah] shall be with him, is appropriately written in the feminine form, as the object being held is the תורה, which is feminine.

Yet, when the Torah directs the king to וקרא בו — to read from it [the Torah], it reverts to בו — 'him' in the masculine form, rather than the feminine בה — in her.

The great Tzaddik Reb Zev Wolf of Zbaraz, the third son of the famed Maggid of Zlotshov offers a profound interpretation on this verse.

The command to the king of והיתה עמו — that the Torah shall be 'with him', is not merely a description of its physical location, but rather a charge unto a king that the Torah and its principles should become fused within his entire being and character. This should become so evident that people observing him, וקרא בו — will read [perceive] an embodiment of the Torah in 'him' — the king, a veritable Sefer Torah. His speech, manner and comportment will enlighten the world with the beauty of Torah.    

כל ישראל בני מלכים — we are all 'children of kings' — princes and princesses who must implement this charge to imbue the Torah within our being, reflecting its greatness in our every breath and action.  

I recently had the privilege to address a Shloshim gathering for a dear old friend, Reb Yossi AKA 'Joe' Tenenbaum a'h, who passed away recently, whom I was fortunate to befriend more than fifty years ago. We learned in Kollel together for close to a decade. He was a young married, and I was returning from Israel and pursuing shidduchim. I, together with many others in our group, gained from his wise advice, enthusiasm for learning, his character, and his genuine warmth as a friend. He went on to raise a beautiful family, was a legendary Daf Yomi Maggid Shiur for decades, beloved by his many students and their families. Yet, he never called himself Rabbi, dressed as a simple layman — gray hat et al, shunning honor, and humbling himself before even children.  He quietly inspired all who encountered him, perforce his sterling middos, and acts of kindness.

Internally though, breathed a fiery soul, ceaseless in its pursuit of self-perfection.

Although there is much to be said about his exemplary interactions בין אדם למקום — between man and G-d, ובין אדם לחבירו — and those between man and his fellow men, Reb Yossi, as one observing him closely, always inspired me most in his בין אדם לעצמו — between man and himself.

Reb Yossi's selfless acts of kindness and total disdain for honor and recognition weren't simply motivated by a mindfully developed self-control of his emotions and actions, but out of a pure love to do the will of Hashem.

A person should not say: I will read the written Torah so that they will call me a Sage; I will study Mishna so that they will call me Rabbi; I will review my studies so I will be an Elder and will sit in the academy.

Rather, learn out of love, as the verse states: “To love the Lord your G-d.” And the honor will eventually come of its own accord… (נדרים סב.) 

The Rambam when paraphrasing this passage adds what I believe is the crux of this motivation of love:

The worshiper motivated out of love, engages himself in the study of the Torah and the observance of precepts and follows the paths of wisdom on no account in the world, neither for fear of evil nor in order to inherit the good; אלא עושה את האמת מפני שהוא אמת — but he does the true thing because it is true, and in the end the good comes because thereof.(הלכות תשובה י ב)

Reb Yossi pursued truth for truth's sake, and on that journey, there is no room for self.

I remember hearing a famous adage, in the name of Reb Yisroel Salanter, from Yossi that remained a mantra in my own life.

מען דארף טאן אבער ניט נאכטאן, מען דארף טאן און ניט אפאטן, מען דארף טאן און ניט אויפטאן!

One must do [by own choice] but not to mimic others, one must do [with intention] and not for the sake of merely 'getting it done', one must do [because it is objectively right] and not merely for the sake of accomplishment!

This was the credo of Reb Yossi.

The last words in the passage in Nedarim seem to contradict the whole stated goal when it adds to serve altruistically 'and eventually כבוד — the 'honor' will come.' Doesn't that defeat the notion of serving purely out of love?

The word כבוד is a synonym for our soul as we recite daily, למען יזמרך — So that shall sing for you, כבוד — my soul'. (תהלים ל יג)

The word כבוד is often translated as honor. The word though is sourced in כבד — weight, or more broadly, significance or weightiness.

Rav Hutner taught that each soul is unique. Man strives for singularity, to find his exclusive role in the world, that is unlike others. We misuse its primary meaning to seek 'honor' even when it is false and merely adulation, giving us a deluded sense of satisfaction with ourselves. But the true measure of our weightiness lays in discovering our exceptional relationship with Hashem, that is the only accurate measure of our worth and purpose in this world. We pine to sense that joy of self-discovery, our 'soul' singing it aloud. (פחד יצחק שבועות מאמר יז)  

Sensing that inner satisfaction — independent of others noting or praising it, simply relishing our singular relationship with Hashem, is what the Talmud is discussing when it states, 'and eventually כבוד — the 'honor' will come.'  

Anyone observing Yossi's joy in his Avodas Hashem, knew it was fueled by a consciousness of this true and pure כבוד!

Often, I would observe how Reb Yossi sat quietly on the side, seemingly brooding and in deep contemplation. I wrote it off, figuring he was just Litvak in a depressed state. But when he snapped out of his meditative state, with a renewed sense of vigor, I realized he was really a Breslover in disguise engaged in serious hisbodedus, breaking out in joyous song.

Rebbe Nachman interprets the Mishna in Avos (4 3) that says:  אין לך אדם שאין לו שעה — There is no man who doesn't have his moment, in a most novel way.

The simple understanding is that every man has his moment. Don't write off those who you believe are powerless against you, one day he may rise to a position of power and take revenge. Don't dismiss people as incapable of rising to greatness, you never know when their day may come and become great.

Rebbe Nachman teaches, אין לך אדם — No one can attain the esteemed title of אדם — a mentsch, שאין לו שעה — if he doesn't devote himself to moments of חשבון הנפש —accounting of the soul, setting aside times of meditative contemplation to consider where one stands in this world vis a vis ones' unique role in this world.

Reb Yossi worked constantly on reviewing and perfecting his climb up the ladder of Shleimus — spiritual wholeness.

His dear wife, Shaindy, shared with me a poem they found among his writings that he composed before one impending Day of Judgment — Rosh Hashana.

הנה ימים באים, אליהם אנשי סגולה מצפים — Behold days are coming, to them treasured people long

בהם ניתן להשיג תכלית החיים — In them one can find the purpose of life

הלא הוא קרבת אלקים — Is that not closeness to G-d

שלזה אנשי סגולה מצפים — For this treasured people yearn

בהמצאו דורשים אותו — When He is found they seek Him

בהתקרבו קוראים אליו — When He is close, they call out to Him

והמשקיף ממעון קדשו, לכל אחד עונה ברחמיו — And the one who supervises from His holy abode answering each one with compassion

הנה נשמע קול שופר הולך וחזק — Behold the sound of the Shofar continues to strengthen

מתוכו נשמע עוד קול, קול דודי דופק — From within it another sound is heard, a sound, my beloved knocks

התעוררי! התעוררי! קומי אורי — Wake up! Wake up! Rise and shine

קול דודי דופק פתחי לי אחותי רעיתי — A sound! My beloved knocks. Open to me, my sister, my love

עורי עורי שיר דברי — Awaken, awaken, utter a song

בשמעי המו מעי לו, בדברי יצאה נפשי — As I heard my innards trembled, my soul departed when I spoke

על ההרים אדלג, על הגבעות אקפץ, רק — On mountains I skip, on hills I spring, but…

נתעוררתי כי אין לבא אל שער המלך בלבוש שק — I realized that one may not enter the gate of the King in sackcloth

קול דודי דופק פתחי לי יונתי תמתי — A sound! My beloved knocks. Open to me, my dove, my perfection

וכנגדו אני על לב דופק, אשמתי בגדתי דברתי דופי — In counterpoint I bang on my heart, I am guilty, I have betrayed, I slandered

איך אגש אל הקודש ואני בעונתי נטמאתי —How may I approach, I have in sin become impure

  איך אראה פני מלכי ואני ביון חטאתי טבעתי — How may I see the face of the King, In the mud of sin I am drowning

איך אפתח לדודי, ומפחדך סמר בשרי — How may I open for my beloved, for my fear of you, my flesh bristles

אורי וישעי, כבסני טהרני — My light and my salvation , cleanse me and purify me

דודי ורעי, משכני אחריך נרוצה — My beloved and my friend, draw me after you, let us run

א-לי א-לי, השיבני אליך ואשובה — My G-d, my G-d, restore me to you, so that I may be restored

It speaks for itself. A prince of a man who merged the Torah into his very essence, personifying the honor of G-d in every aspect of his life.

צר לי — I am distressed, עליך אחי — for you my brother… נעמת — you were pleasant to meמאוד , — very much.

באהבה,

צבי יהודה טייכמאן