Posted on 09/07/22
Baltimore, MD - Sept. 6, 2022 - Over Labor Day weekend, September 2-4, Ranchleigh residents Michael and Margie (Pensak) Steinberg - aided by a small army of their family members, friends, and neighbors - hosted a beautiful, bekavodik and uplifting Shabbos for nearly 50 women. They were primarily members of Nismach Maryland, the local friendship and activities group for almanos (widows), who were joined by other almanos from as far away as Brooklyn, Boca Raton, Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Lakewood, Monsey, and Passaic.
As you read this, you might think that you’ve never heard of anything sadder than a Shabbaton for widows, but nothing could be farther from the truth. As the organization’s name implies, Nismach is a group which encourages happiness. It is patterned after the international group, Samchainu, which gives support to about 2,000 widows throughout the world. Our activities are uplifting and fun with the intention of reminding the participants that even though our husband has died, we all need to continue seeking happiness and enjoy life.
Indeed by the end of the Shabbaton, the participants - several of whom hadn’t known each other 24 hours prior, were laughing together, singing with arms around each other, posing for pictures with one another, and exchanging phone numbers and email addresses so they could keep in touch. Bonds of friendship formed, the natural support that friendship brings was built, and very warm, happy memories were created.
As attendee Chaiah Schwab stated: “The entire Shabbaton was outstanding! I felt like a queen! I enjoyed the great speakers, the yummy meals, the singing, meeting new people and schmoozing with old friends whom I never get to see otherwise. Thank you a zillion times.”
What was the Steinbergs’ motivation?
Explains Margie, “I was thrilled when Stephanie Savir founded Nismach Maryland seven years ago, affording Maryland almanos the opportunity to experience some of the same fun, meaningful, therapeutic activities as their Samchainu "sisters'' who primarily reside in the New York area. Having attended - and reported on - the annual international Samchainu Shabbaton, I realized the major impact a similar local Shabbaton can have here in Baltimore. Of course, Michael and I couldn't have pulled this off without our wonderful family, friends, and neighbors - some of whom we still haven’t met.”
And so it begins…
By 5 pm erev Shabbos, all pieces of the Shabbaton were in place. Anyone not in the know would assume that months of planning had gone into the event. But in reality, the Steinbergs pulled the Shabbaton together in just three weeks.
Attendees were instructed to arrive at the Steinberg home between 5-6 pm to pick up their welcome bag which included a Shabbos schedule, name badge, a welcome letter that included the host’s home address, a local map which also marked closeby shuls, small gifts and nosh. Many thanks to community members Tova Taragin for spending hours creating the beautiful letter, schedule of events and name tags, and Malka Feldman for putting together the welcome bags. They were distributed by neighbors Leeba Braun and Syril Steingroot, and attendee Frances Sanders.
Welcome bags (Photo credit: Margie Steinberg)
After receiving their bags, participants were treated to an optional sheitel touch-up in the Steinbergs’ makeshift basement “beauty shop”, by local sheitel machers Faigy Rosen and Sury Goldman (photo below).
Local sheitel machers Faigy Rosen and Sury Goldman (Photo credit: Margie Steinberg)
After licht bentching, Kabbolos Shabbos and Maariv, Michael came home to make kiddush and hamotzi for the crowd. At this meal - and all those following - he finished eating quickly, discreetly bentched, and left the room so the ladies could sing together.
Rebbetzin Evelyn Hyman led the zemiros at every Shabbos meal. Her warm, charming personality quickly had us singing our favorite zemiros and tunes together.
Rebbetzin Rivka Leah Goldman treated the group to a dvar Torah at each meal. She carried the theme of teshuva throughout all her divrei Torah over Shabbos.
Shabbos afternoon brought two uplifting programs. After lunch and a rest break we reconvened for an “Ask the Rebbetzins” panel, giving us the opportunity to pose challenging questions about navigating life as a widow. Knowledgeable panelists Rebbetzins Rochel Naiman, Rivka Leah Goldman, Evelyn Hyman and Nechama Kutner (Cleveland) fielded our questions with sensitivity and intelligence.
After this panel Rebbetzin Kutner shared, “I never realized how much I needed, and could benefit from chizuk from a different set of peers.”
Following this panel, Rabbi Paysach Krohn addressed the audience. As always, Rabbi Krohn mixed in uplifting stories and guidance for life. Rabbi Krohn’s own father passed away when he was 21. He left yeshiva and moved in with his mother to help her, and that’s when he learned his mohel skills which provided a parnassah for his family. Rabbi Krohn is quite sensitive to the feelings of almonos, and his shiur was on point.
He told stories about remarkable chasodim done by people in memory of loved ones and encouraged us to even do a small chesed each day for an aliyas neshama of our husbands. Reaffirming the goal of the Shabbaton, Rabbi Krohn reminded us how important it is to take care of ourselves. He reminded us to keep seeking joy, to buy ourselves nice things, travel if possible, develop new friendships and hobbies. It was truly a treat to have a private shiur by Rabbi Krohn and enjoy his gentle personality and uplifting stories.
After havdalah, a real surprise was in store for us when we were requested to come to the Steinbergs’ living room for musical entertainment. The lights were dimmed and the audience were mesmerized by “Flight”, an elegant video featuring Baltimore’s own internationally renowned singing star, Mrs. Elena Tal, who sang a duet with Israeli singer Avital Macales. After it ended and the lights brightened, Elena Tal herself stepped into the room and said, “Good evening, ladies!” to introduce her exciting hour-long private performance.
Several women mentioned how beautiful Elena’s voice is and how much they enjoyed dancing, singing and clapping along. We were all inspired by her life story of becoming shomer Shabbos and using her vocal talent to enhance the Yiddishkeit of frum women, including founding Tal Voice Studio and teaching in Bais Yaakov of Baltimore High School.
Mrs. Tal shared her feelings about performing at the Shabbaton. “I enjoyed meeting and singing for the wonderful women of Nismach, from not only Maryland, but different states, as well! It was fun sharing my story of my professional singing career journey with them, as well as singing different styles of songs ranging from Jewish pop, to opera and Broadway. As an artist, one of the most beautiful things during a performance is being inspired by the audience and feeling them right there with you. This audience exemplified that!”
After the concert, Melave Malka with fresh pizza and make-your-own ice cream sundaes wrapped up the night.
The final event of the Shabbaton was a Sunday morning brunch. We were treated to words of chizuk by Mrs. Breindy Halberstam, co-founder/co-director of Samchainu. She has organized dozens of Shabbatons since its founding 14 years ago, but this was her first time attending and enjoying one as a guest. In her opinion, “This was a spectacular event filled with intellectual and spiritual pleasures. The delectable food and amazing entertainment made for a very enjoyable weekend.”
After the Shabbaton ended a flood of praise was shared on our Nismach Maryland WhatsApp chat.
Mrs. Eva Steiner, a regular Nismach participant expressed, “I loved this Shabbaton! I actually felt we went somewhere together, away from Baltimore. The end of this Shabbaton feels like a bubble burst.”
Another happy participant, Mrs. Faygie Pollack commented, “I could not imagine 36 hours during which our only responsibility was to enjoy ourselves and each other. But it was imagined, and gifted to us.”
Mrs. Shaine Spolter, a long time Silver Spring resident who recently moved to Baltimore said, “It was very special for me to be able to attend a Shabbaton for the first time, since everything was made as accessible as possible for me. I was very impressed by the divrei Torah given by Rivka Leah Goldman and the energetic, funny Southern charm of Mrs. Evelyn Hyman who gallantly led our zemirot.”
Mrs. Frances Sanders commented, “I truly had a dream weekend (without cooking and cleaning). I enjoyed meeting new friends (while listening to divrei Torah) and singing zemiros (while laughing at our “stand up comic” Rebbetzin Evelyn Hyman), and being entertained at night by the lovely concert…everything was relaxed and everyone was happy.”
“I enjoyed the ‘Ask the Rebbetzin’ panel,” said Mrs. Hannah Heller. “We were able to laugh about the craziness we experience in our lives as widows.” She continued, “We are one awesome group of ladies who are trying to bring light and joy to one another and to the world in spite of our difficult situations.”
It Takes A Village
Putting together a full weekend Shabbaton for approximately 50 people is a daunting task in staying organized and managing logistics, so the Steinbergs solicited help from their family, friends, and neighbors to pull it off. And they weren't disappointed. So many people volunteered to provide their time, effort and talents to make this Shabbaton a spectacular success – from providing transportation (thank you, Eve Messing) to grocery shopping (thank you, Chana Feldman), to all those who extended store discounts.
Shira Perlman, owner of Delightfully Sweet, donated drizzled bundt cakes which graced the 24-hour tea room in the Steinbergs’ basement (which was also stocked with coffee, tea, yogurts, cheesecake, fresh fruit and other nosh).
Shana Kravetz spent hours finding housing in the immediate area, noting the number of bedrooms and beds and if the accommodations were ground level, for those guests who were challenged by climbing steps. The Steinbergs were one of about 15 housing hosts.
Mrs. Chaya Brocha Waldbaum, along with her three daughters, Rivky, Esty, and Raizy, and visiting father-in-law, schlepped and set up all the folding tables and chairs, in addition to picking up and returning all the gemach tablecloths.
Rebbetzin Rochel Naiman: "I was awed by the intelligence, warmth, and refinement of these women. The sense of togetherness struck me first and foremost: this is an exclusive club of women who refuse to become frozen by their circumstances. In fact, I also immediately saw that the front rooms of Mrs. Steinberg's home felt like an inn where these women felt so very much at home. Some were reading, some resting, some shmoozing... tranquility reigned."
Let’s not forget the extended Pensak family. Special kudos go to Natalia and Tehila Pensak and Zev, Ayala and Asher Pensak, who surreptitiously came over before Shabbos to help with final preparations and attend to the needs of the participants. Natalia and Tehila returned motzei Shabbos to set up for Elena Tal’s performance; accompany some attendees home; and stayed until about 2 am to help with the clean up!
We can’t wait to get together again soon!
The overall feeling after the Nismach Shabbaton ended, is that we’re so grateful for the wonderful time we enjoyed together.
With a tint of dark humor, we call Nismach “The club no one wants to join.” (And we don’t want any new members!) But after seven years of Nismach’s operation, our members have become a second family to each other, sharing in simchas and supporting each other through hardships. We can’t wait to get together again soon for more of our fun, uplifting events.
“Next year, when the Steinbergs hope to do this again, iy’H, they will need to buy a bigger house,” joked Rebbetzin Kutner.
At the farewell brunch, Margie expressed, “This was one of the most fun and meaningful Shabbosos of my life. There were so many wonderful highlights - but, I especially schepped nachas from the warmth that permeated the entire weekend – the bonding non-stop smiles, schoolgirl chit-chat and laughter. This camaraderie will carry these heroines through to our next Shabbaton, and Michael and I cannot wait to host it again, iy”H!”
Concludes Michael, “All I can say is that I was highly motivated to help my wife perform a mitzvah that she was so passionate about from the first time we spoke about it very early in our marriage.”
Nismach Maryland is part of Yad Yehuda of Greater Washington and operates under the rabbinical guidance of Rabbi Moshe Walter, shlit”a. You can learn more about us at www.nismach.org.
We never charge our members to participate in our events. Donations are always welcome at www.nismach.org/donate. We are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and all contributions are tax deductible.
Elena Tal at Melava Malka
Singing along with Elena at the Malava Malka
The Melava Malka audience
Nismach Shabbaton attendees
Samchainu Co-founder, Breindy Halberstam (second from right) poses with some attendees from NJ and NY